1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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