I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
