i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
