did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
