put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You ruined the universe
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize