Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize