For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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