i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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