I just threw up on my dentist
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
