I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
