All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
