your thong is hanging out like whoa
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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