She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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