this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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