shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
