So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
