She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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