Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
