I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
