By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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