But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
