You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We just shotgunned beers for America
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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