I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and she was petting her beer can
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize