Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
