I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
