Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
