Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
its liver damage thursday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
