She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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