I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize