oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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