you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
