Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
