the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize