New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
