10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize