I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
