the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you made out with another girl for some wings
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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