So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
