Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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