dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
