does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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