ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
