Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
