yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
