Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it hurts more in the daytime
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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