Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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