So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
