The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
vagina is talking i cant
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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