if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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