Bisexual people are plain selfish.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this just has baby written all over it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
