Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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