woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
