so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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