im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
