If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
