You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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