I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
