What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
