We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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