i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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