Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this will be a night to untag.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize