Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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