Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
