i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
