An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize