does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize