I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
