i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
