Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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