He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
