Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
